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I'm here without you
Faiz
RP year 2, environmental science
A complicated person with a big smile =) i suffer from dilemma almost every time, so HAHA
Friday, November 7, 2008
【 2:28 PM 】
ok, i know i've been missing from here for a very long period of time. Not because i didn't want to update my blog. So much has happened, that i'm quite unsure what to blog about but i really want to blog this because it has bother me since the day i signed a piece of paper, people like Kaye, Ellen and whoever else knows. One states,"No going out with friends except for family".
So there were plans going back Malacca to visit relatives that i have not seen for years, i really mean years. I'm allowed to go when i first ask back in September. So someone called me whether i still wants to return to Malacca, so i said yes, but i have to ask for permission again since i've signed that piece of paper. Guess what, i can't go because of that piece of paper. Weird thing is, it says no going out with friends not family, so that someone who called is a family, and i am going back with her and my beloved grandma. Now, everything is gone, because the first thing i want to see when i get back to Malacca is my chinese aunt, who took care of me when i am young, after all, it's right to appreciate someone who tend to you when you're being an irritating kid, i mean naughty.
I know it is my fault, but c'mon, i've never been to a holiday except for Johor, but it is not even a holiday. So ridiculous, really is. C'mon, i've accepted the fact that all these was my fault, but you people don't really understand my problem with school. Now, i am trying to make myself attend school by reducing my working days, my activities outside school. None of my friends made me skipped me school, i did it on my own, no one psycho-ed me to skip school. No right to blame my friends, instead they encourage me to come school. People from W54M have been encouraging me to school, directly or indirectly. I felt so much better being in class and start doing things even though deep in my heart, it kept saying the same thing about how my school doesn't give the best towards environmental science students.
However, i think i have to do my part to find the linkage between the modules i am taking and my course. If not, i'll get a diploma but with nowhere to go. I need to buck up on my UT which have been bad, really bad. I hope i get everything out of my head after this blog entry.
And and BGR, i've been in this level whereby i am afraid to get close to a girl. I'm scared shit of getting close to girls, either i'll disappoint myself or the other part, but it has been me getting disappointed. Therefore, all i can do, is to admire the presence of the girl, if God willing, why not. I hope things in my past relationship won't occur in the future. And like what i told Asima, i have to switch my mindset. only she knows what i mean. LOL
