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I'm here without you
Faiz
RP year 2, environmental science
A complicated person with a big smile =) i suffer from dilemma almost every time, so HAHA
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
【 10:31 AM 】
Whoa man, the past few weeks is like a living hell. Out of home, booze almost every night, thinking what to do. I know it's bad but what can i do? Well, now i'm home, i shall stop complaining and enjoy the shelter and bed. It's never been easy getting up from bed to walk my ass to school. Friends have been giving morning call since that day. Never will forget that very day and week. Living like a fugitive running away from the police. I think i should stop dwelling about it and start dwelling about the friends that have helped me tremendously. Nowadays, i feel like things do repeat like again and again. Maybe life is a cycle. Now it feels like when i was in Secondary 4, when i really like this girl, but in the end it didn't work out. I know i'm not saying i like you more than a friend, but there are certain feelings that i can't hide from you. When things are so fine, then came a third person. Damn, because it is the exact situation that happened between me and G during secondary school years. Things are becoming like that, and i am ready to face the worse, you know if anything happens. I want to be a stick-on but i know there should be boundaries between us. I've learned my lesson, and that experience sucks, because it might vanished before you know it is. I've no intention to get into a relationship or whatever, but the feeling can be so deadly. It'll kinda ripped any one's heart apart, and it will be heal slowly. Before i know, it is a sabotage situation again. It's like CB mofo. Well, i think i have to take things slowly. I love the way things are like now, even there are some pop-ups somewhere, and make me pissed, but that's not my life and i have no power to control. Just accept the way things are right now, and go with the flow. Even if anything happen, i should be happy and know that at least i put an effort to get to know her better, and of course, should be happy for her, you know, even though it sounds cliche, it is not. Forget that, i shall be hype and do the crazy shit i do. Things with her will either goes well, or not, it depends. I hope it is. So more updates coming up. So long....
